lady lunous comedy night 5/18/13

how's everybody doing out there tonight at club sith?  you'll have to forgive me if its looks like i'm giving you an evil glare.  i gotta squint to attempt to make out who's who.  i could say i misplaced my glasses and leave it at that but i can't rightly say i even had em on today.  if i act a little loopy-disoriented and otherwise out of sorts you'll have to forgive me for that too.  i went shopping with my mom earlier today...it was rainning.  i love the rain-its soothing.  there is nothing like sitting in a quiet house listening to the rain.  but when you're fluffy and have osteo-arthritis and bursitis and tendonitis and sciatica you don't get out on a day like today was.  as soothing as the rain is it tends to make all those itises worse.  you may wonder what that has to do with the glasses that may or may not have been misplaced-you don't trek through 2nd hand mini-malls on a day like today without a little something something to dull the pain.  and i just happened to have some good something something stashed away that i saved 4m a painful injury here while back.

b4 i go on-i need to apoligize to ronin warrior sage...wherever your at out there tonight.  yeah wait there you are-no wait that's she-ra or is it minion chloe-sorry either way---wrong blond.  i'd say i'm blind as a bat but i better not insult dax my pet fruit bat.  wait there you are...i think.  anyway thanks to all the rain my hair had a mind of its own today and decided to stick up like yours.  comb it down look away from the mirror for a second and its sticking right back up.  hairspray won't even hold it down.  i'm not trying to steal your look man-just wanted you to know that.  i'm a bit flabbergahsted by it to tell you the truth-most rainy days it imitates whatever style taylor hanson currently has.  so if someone is ripping off your look it must be him.  its creepy-i get up on a rainy day try to comb it out and it does its own thing-just when i think wow no taylor-do this time i get online and find out he got some new do and long b4 i ever saw it with my eyes somehow my hair knew.  i don't know if its some freaky psychic stalker hair or its just getting me back for just getting up and doing nothing to it.  its short for a reason so i don't have to bother with it.  i can deal with make-up and i'm am jewerly freak but when it comes to my hair i just don't bother cause if i'm going out i'm just gonna slap one of my hats.  i like my hats-even if they are more apporiate for a jr high girl than a fluffy 30 something.

didn't i tell you i get disoriented and out of sorts-back on track.  i got scared on the way home mom was either gonna stop at a hospital and have me commited to the psych ward or just stop the car and make me get out then leave me on the side of the road.  case in point we passed where minon chloe works and there was a cop car in the parking lot-i meant to make up some joke about cops getting tired of donuts and i ended up texting her that we needed a donut shop in town.  i think we need to add donuts to the menu here-wheres roboto?  there you are-can't miss him even without the glasses-big robot.  make a note to have the kitchen get on that.  off track again-but donuts are worth it right?  i was so out of it earlier.  i felt like i was flying-then we went down this hill.  i started freaking out screaming that i was falling-stop this freaking popscile i wanna get off.  i have no idea why i thought i was flying on a popscile.  mom wanted to know how much of the something something that i took.  i don't think she believed it was just one.  i'm like welcome to the insanity that is my mind.

so on the way home we stopped at another store...which brings me to my what's bugging me today topic.  why do total strangers think they have some divine-given right to come up to you go all ga-ga and start touching your belly and demand to know when your due date is?  wtf?  that's just wrong.  my first thought is where's roboto-not only is he my secretary but he's also my body guard-then i realized i wasn't at the club.  maybe i had it coming given the shirt i had on.  mom got it for me-i swear it looks like a maternity shirt-kind of like a princess cut dress only its so short it only goes to your waist.  but i didn't want to hurt her feelings so i wear it out.  don't get me wrong i like it-wear it all the time at home just not out where people are gonna mistake my fluffy belly 4 a baby bump.  any other day i woulda just give 'that look' the one that says you got a nanosecond to get outta my face before i go ballistic on you.  but thanks to the little something something i took earlier it didn't even occur to me to do that and be done with it and go on about my day.  it took me a second-staring at a hand on my belly waiting to feel a baby kick.  i look up at this lady and i said i've heard some cheesey lines b4 but never has a chubby chaser ever used one that dumb.  i don't think this lady knew wether to be more pissed at the fact i just accused her of being a chubby chasing lesiban or of being dumb.  i'm like let me make this easy 4 you lady- #1 i can't have kids and #2 i like guys who got brains to go along with their good looks.  i coulda swore i spotted rumpus on one of the store shelves at that point so i just limped off to find out what he was doing there.  come to find it was metal yard decorations shaped like geckos the size of rumpus.  next thing i know some guy is asking me if i'm seeing anyone.  which brings me back to the missing glasses-my answer not clearly.  he asked whatcha doing tonight.  apparently the guy only processed lady lunous and didn't listen doesn't date on comedy night and wanted to know just how freaky things like that work.  i didn't see what getting freaky had to do with my comedy routine.  he got confused wanting to know what comedy had to do with dominatrixing.  i'm like-lady as in darth lunous only sith lady ever and co-owner of the hottest club in the far far away galaxy-its saturday comedy night.  he skipped out quick apparently i had too much of the 4ce 4 him to handle.

thats it 4 2nite-thank you.